Is There A Tea Party Conspiracy…?

Conspiracy?

Is there a Tea Party Conspiracy to hide the fact that Jesus Christ was Chinese by keeping Americans ignorant of geography?

Consider the story of a Sudanese man named Malik who met an Afro-American sailor in Athens in 1982. When Malik says he is from Sudan, the US sailor asks “Where is that?” Malik explains it is south of Egypt, and the sailor asks “Where’s that?”

With typical Sudanese politeness, Malik explains by giving directions and distances from Athens and then asks the sailor, where is he from?

The sailor proudly proclaims “New York,” to which Malik asks “Where’s that?”

The sailor, apparently confused at Malik’s ignorance, says “New York City, in New York State”.

Malik then asks “And where’s that?”

Clearly quite peeved, the sailor shouts “The U.S of A!”

“… and where’s that?”, asks Malik.

“…The United States of America!” shouts the sailor.

“Oh, I’ve heard of that,”, says Malik. “Its somewhere west of London, isn’t it?”

Americans mostly travel only within the USA and learn in depth only about the 50 States in school, so naturally, their notorious ignorance of other places might be partially understood. But ignorance in a sailor from a US Navy warship in the eastern Mediterranean is concerning. Is there a better explanation for this ignorance? Keep reading!

Christ was Chinese?

Allan Dennis was a scholar and Methodist lay preacher at a prestigious private school in the latter half of the twentieth century. He once posed a fascinating question to his Grade 12 Latin class: if the Magi were from Persia, and they followed the star in the east to find Christ, then how could He be other than Chinese?

Now Jesus is described in some Greek texts as “chromos”, or coloured, and many have suggested from this that he was a negro. But maybe “chromos”  actually referred to his Chinese features? Some have also speculated about how Buddhist-like the teachings of Jesus were, quite in contrast to the Jewish teachings of the time, and that it was because He had spent time in the Far East. For a little more on this “theory”, check out the links here and here

Dennis suggested a different explanation was more likely. The Sun, the Moon and the stars all rise in the east, and in many ancient languages the word for “east” and “rising” were the same, so a translator’s error could have changed the meaning of “rising star” to “star in the east”. With the publication of various versions of the Bible over the centuries, the meaning of the texts became altered and corrupted from the original. A literal interpretation of them by fundamentalists is clearly quite silly, said Dennis.

Broccoli and “Kosherness?”

But mere mistranslation does not cover other geographical challenges to the holy books. For example, a New York Jewess complained on a TV show about how difficult it was to remove insects from broccoli in order to make it Kosher. As Kosher food should only contain “beast, bird or fish”, leaving in the insects (‘every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth’ – Leviticus 11:41-43)  would make it an abomination and thus non Kosher.

The Bible only mentions the continents of Europe, Asia and Africa, and displays no knowledge of Antarctica, Australia, North and South America. So when a cook was looking at broccoli with a magnifying glass for insects in the USA, according to the various ancient words of the all-knowing God, ironically it also means that she was living in a continent that also should not be there.

Now whilst Darwinism is openly attacked by fundamentalists, the geography war would only be won by teaching U.S. geography in U.S. classrooms in order to avoid the young asking questions that are obvious with a better understanding of geography, gained perhaps by a proper understanding of the Zodiac.

The problem for the true followers of the Zodiac is the gross misrepresentation by some Christians and most Astrology believers. Ms. God, not only did not see the four continents, but also misunderstood that Europe is really just a peninsula of the Eurasian continent. So every world map is a challenge to Jews, Christians and Muslims, but not followers of the Zodiac.

But more on that next time!